My Autobiography.. Who Am I?

        Who is David D'Angelo?  Is he as strong as he says he is?  Well I dunno maybe yes, maybe not because it all depends on your perspective.

        On October 16, 1977 I was born seeing only my mom at my side, being with her through the early parts of my life.  I was born at Malolos, Bulacan and we used to have a house in Parulan, Plaridel, Bulacan.  I even studied at Parulan Elementary School, used to go biking there with the bike being the gift of my grand father, Warren Bates Delano who is in Brazil.  I remember the name of the girl was Sally and well she was sort of my childhood crush back then.  Mid of Grade 1 we have to move to Barangka in Marikina because as I remember the lot will be sold.  So I studied the rest of my Grade 1 and Grade 2 at Barangka Elementary School.

        I have very happy moments with my mom though she had a very short life and had died of cancer when I was 5 years old.  I felt sad somewhat knowing that I will be left with my Ninang who is the sister of my grandmother.  My "Ninang" used to discipline me with the so called "dos por dos" whenever I had a small and to think of it silly mistakes like not coming home on time.  It was hard to endure considering the pain whenever that wood hit me whenever I could be hited.  It was also that time that I realized that I never had a picture of my father.

        I asked them who my father was and they told me that he is dead and his name was Jose Collon D'Angelo.  I tried to ask them what he looks like but they cannot even produce a single picture of him.  I remember at a brink of me being scolded my grandmother told me that my surname was just handpicked from a newspaper/magazine and up to now that always rekindled in my mind.  I also learned that my "Ninang" indirectly caused the death of my mother when she asked her to abort the baby that she was conceiving earlier and because it was done wrongly it developed into cancer.  She and my grandmother oftentimes even told me that my mom was a whore.  Well maybe she they just say that because as my grandfather told me they did not approve most of the time of the man she fell in love with.

        During my stay in Marikina the event which could have changed my life forever did happen.  I was sexually abused several times by a border of my "Ninang".  I do not remember the exact details of what he did with me but all I can say is it was hard for a very young mind to understand and cope with.  Luckily in 1986 my grandmother decided to went home to our home town, Atimonan, Quezon.

        In Atimonan I studied the rest of my Elementary and because First Honors when I was in Grade III and IV and had honors when I was in Grade V and Grade VI.  When I was in Grade IV I cannot forget how we had experienced poverty and lack of financial resources because at that time the coconut industry fell weak and my grandmother had coconut lands which supports us.  That time she told me that I can no longer go to school but one day a German visited us and told her that he can send me to school.  I lived at the house of the German businessman for a while and I was given utmost care and importance but it was too late when I realized that I was in for another sexual abuse.  After a year I succeeded in escaping from yet another nightmare and continued my studies till I graduate Elementary.

        I was never a popular guy in Elementary though I have a dedicated circle of friends Manny Escasa and Darwin Saavedra and I even had my first barkada liquor drinking with them when we are in Grade Five.  I also had my first sort of sexual awakening with a girl when I was in Grade Five eventhough honestly I was not circumsized till the end of Grade VI.

        During Grade V another unforgettable experience occure and I was re-abused anew by our neighbor and this time it is the worst and most intimate of all.  All sorts of things which you can think of happened to me though I cannot do anything.  For three years I endured this and to tell you the truth it was at this time that I fixated and accepted the things that is happening to me.  On the third year I honestly began to enjoy it.  I don't know why though.  I hate the things that happened to me and the persons that did such things to me.  At one time I tried to commit suicide but maybe it was not yet my time and a song saved me... THE GREATEST LOVE OF ALL... and yes learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all and If I fauil, if I succeed at least I stay as I believe no matter what they think of me they can't take away my dignity.

        And so I moved on to High School.  Although I could have studied in the Manila Science High School because I was accepted my grandmother would not allow me because she said I might end up a delinquent. So I entered Our Lady of the Angels Academy.  In High School I never really wanted to be in the Honor List though my grandmother pushed me to it because I can never have allowance if I am not in the list.  During high school I do had several intimate encounters with my classmates and I feel good about it that time.  At the same time I also become engages in my Third Year with excessive drinking and cigarrette smoking.  I do smoke 1-2 "kaha" of cigarettes a day.

        One day in the middle of that excessive self-abuse I woke up and cannot move my entire body... I was paralyzed.  The doctor diagnosed that it was because of excessive cigarrette consumption.  Fear of death that time caused me to throw away smoking.  At the front of all that I was also a very active staffer of our High Schol publication, OLAA's ECHO and had even run for a post in the Student Council in 3rd Year though I lost heavily.  I redeemed my dignity in the student elections in 4th year when against insurmountable odds and unpopularity at the start I emerged victorious in a landslide victory for the Presidency with the help of people which believe in me.

        Being the president crafted me to be a true youth leader and with the call of duty I have to sacrifice being a Valedictorian for the cause of the students and in order to evict the Principal that time which had caused so much suffering to the students.  I was the first ever student of the school to stand against the system.

        Near the end of High School I was again so depressed that I tried to commit suicide but in the nick of lacerating my wrist a song once again touched me... "There's a hero if you look inside your heart, you don't have to be afraid of who you are.".  And I told myself... indeed that is true.

        After High School I went to Carmona, Cavite and studied at STI-Binan where I learned about Computer Operations though I really wanted to graduate Computer Science.  After a year I was called back home to take care of my sick grandmother.  There I studied BS Accountancy.  My best friend asked me to run for the Presidency of the College but in the end it was also he who betrayed me and was my oponent.. but four years later I become the concurrent President of the Student Council and Editor-in-Chief of the College Publication which turned out as the most fruitful year of those bodies.

        In 1998 I end up marrying a girl which I love so much and was the mother to my 3 kids, John Dwight, Helen Cleodara and David Jr.  I stop my college and run a computer shop business.  But it was a whirlwind marriage after 4 years we end up hating each other and she ended up in the arms of someone else which gave her two children.  It was the saddest part of my life though I also had a fallback that time because of sadness I had a bf... though our relationship did not end up good as well.

        There were good memories though because my service mindedness did continue.  I even run for a position in the Municipal Council though I end up loosing and it is also during this dark times that BROOD was conceptualized and organized.  Well if there is also one thing that my ex-wife did not agree on was my public life as a servant and as a leader.

        During those difficult years I end up in the bed of various people... I dunno maybe because I am lost and don't know what to do or maybe it is the effect of what had happened in my early life.  Luckily Mei was there and saved me from my demise.  She took me and accepted everything that is me.  With her I finished my course and BROOD flourished.  With the help of a lot of people BROOD expanded and served and become the organization that it is now... it is also my source of strength and inspiration besides my kids that is.

        The never ending battle though is with myself and with what had been within me since early in my life.  I do not know really what love is because I never had a chance to really experience it with my family.

        I do not know how to be a real father because I never had a father.

        I am a bisexual and my friends though know it and I accept it with all my heart and I am not shy to tell the world about it.

        I accepted who I am and I present to the world who David is... a leader who cares for other people and who will always be there to make a difference.  I might not be perfect but I assure you that I always do my best in whatever I commit on.

        My greatest challenge is love and my weakness comes from the deepest wound that encarcerated me for my whole life.

        At present I am serving to make a difference.  I am the National Secretary General of Brotherhood of Destiny, Inc. (BROOD), the Chairperson of the Cyber Youth Committee and Region 3 Convenor of the 6th National Youth Parliament, webmaster of the Sustainability Watch Network and other cause oriented sites, and part of Filcode, Inc.

        I have high hopes maybe not for myself but for the people that I serve, for my kids and for my country and the world... and I know with my simple contribution and with the help of others I can make a difference.

                It is as if problems continue to pour down and people that you have love so much will at some point in your life tend to hurt and break you into pieces.  But I am not condemning them nor blaming them for what happenned for I know everything has a reason and a purpose.  I will hold on to what I believe in and to what I feel as long as I can and as long as I feel it is right.

        This may not be complete or contain all the details about me but I share to you my life or part of it and I accept every bits and pieces of it because I know it is what made me strong and what made me help other people... what made me strong against trials and adversities.

        People may pull me down but I am always ready to face them... I might fail but I will never ever surrender.

Comments

[Caesar]

David,

This took a lot of courage to write.

It is not the tragedies we faced that rule our lives. It is how we overcame them that makes us stronger and enable us to confront new challenges.

Continue to serve the people!

[Caesar]

David,

This took a lot of courage to write.

It is not the tragedies we faced that rule our lives. It is how we overcame them that makes us stronger and enable us to confront new challenges.

Continue to serve the people!

[andy]

I would like to thank you bigan for sharing your life with me. I bursted into tears while reading your story. I really never thought that you went along these trials. But by opening up I really admire you more and you earned my respect. Life might not be fair however it is not a reason for you not to dream on and have the will to fulfill it. You have proven alot not only to yourself but also to others who you have touched their lives even in a simple gesture. You know bro how loyal I am to you. Even from the first time we had a laughing moment in SM North Edsa remember the e-peace :-)and that heated argument, the "GUTOM" moment with randy of Region IX and sharing my noodles and skyfakes with you hahaha! But long way to go bigan. And I am grateful to God that I have a friend like you. Even with that little time we spent I know that inside of YOU -there is kindness and humility that even I envious. You have even been my idol in terms of socializing I earnestly asked you to recruit me as one of your members remember and thanks for that bro I know I will learn alot from you - I believe in you. I hope people will know how good person you are. I hope they will know your clean intention to serve them and that you sacrificed alot, in the point of losing your family and yourself. I am just here bigan you know it nman di ba? More power and God bless you!

[Michael]

Life is difficult... the 1st line i read from the Book Road Less Traveled. And it's indeed the reality of life that we must accept and learn to live with. All of us have shattering experiences presented in different ways, but what matters most is our determination to rise from the dark pit of our experiences and move towards the light. The process of healing is not that easy especially when the wounds are deep and i'm also in the same case. In my situation, i'm entrusting my life to God for i believe that He has a reason why he allowed things to happen. There are things which i cannot understand still as of now, but i believe that one day he will reveal his great plan to my life and also to you. Just hold firm to your genuine motivation to love and to make a difference... for this will guide you and make you strong in all circumstances. Let our broken lives be an instrument of God's redeeming Grace!

[Iveeh Diana]

Everything in life happens for a certain reason,
there are no accidents nor coincidences.
It was made to happen in order for you to learn from it.
Your own experiences can be you're greatest teacher.
Your failures,and disappoinments are few of the things you have to endure,
for you to learn from it so next time you'd be wiser and tougher.
And as i quote from the bible, "All things work together for good."-Romans8:28.

Dave I admire you for sharing your life story to the world. You're so brave and like what i told you before, "Saludo ako sa'yo." -dahil you had the guts to give out every details ng buhay mo. Well you had just proven that you were born to be a leader... because you were able to admit your mistakes, shortcomings and even you're struggles. And all of which served as the foundation of who you are right now. Thanks for sharing with us the gift hope, life and faith.

[sprokotong]

saludo ako sayo David!

['christian']

bilib ako sau tol... kc ang lakas mo... lakas ng loob mo...

[reynold]

After reading this, you had gained my respect more. I salute you for your honesty and courage in telling the world the real DAVID I know. Everything that we had together has been answered. I know you more and I understand you better.

I grasp a lot of inspiration from your life and struggle. It makes me stive and continue to believe everything that happened to us has a reason. And with this we learn, we grow and we we become better person.

Thank you for sharing your story with me. Thank you for being part of my life. You will always have that special place in my heart, my friend.

[Jimmy]

Funny that I always considered myself travelling "The road less travelled" but seeing you ahead of the paths has laways been an inspiration. I have always thought of you as a principled man and to date that is even greater. I admire how you channel dissapointment to positive outlets. How you see the world which much hope. Knowing more of you made me realize even how vast and deep of a person you are. You certainly inspired me with your story. with the courage you have shown in sharing who you are. with the difference you are making with the people around you. Simper Fidelis!

[CarMeLa TiaRa]

thank u for sharing with me your story.. i salute you for writing it.. not everyone can write something as bravely as you.. you've shown us almost everything about you.. Just remember that God is always there for you.. everything that has happened to us has a purpose.. we may not understand it now but time will come that everything will fall into their places.. just trust God and always believe in Him.. He has better plans for you.. you have just gained my respect not only as a person but as a leader.. Keep on loving people around you.. Godbless always bigan..

[ChriStopher]

its cool

[Jayrol]

though i know ur life story is,but when u post it isa lang mASASABI KO im very proud of you,u have a confident to face of all the struggle in ur life,i know its not the end of chalenges,always rmember we are all here to support you,and dont forget that GOD is aLWAYS be there!!!!!gudluck always click on............ jafp_ily........................

[Lai]

Geez, classmate, I admire your guts for opening such to the rest of us. Though we've been classmates and friends back in high school, back in my mind I know there's more to know about you. And after reading your testimony, it only made me realize more that there are things that I don't know about you. The rest of my comment later...God bless.

[Lei]

I takes all of a man's courage just to cry. David is one of the bravest person in the world. And sometimes I don't really know what to say except trying to make him laugh, I can feel a sad aura right now. I'm sorry for being "ghost-like" I too consumed with "enjoyment".

I promised Shen I'll be his friend until death takes both our breaths away.

[paw]

wel thanks for sharing we have quite similar huhuhu....all i can say is that be yourself and continue to serve people...bear in mind that God is so good...and he doesnt give as challenge or trial that we cant come up with it....AJa...

[Ruth]

"dont let the fear of striking out hold you back...be the change you want to see in the world".

[dExtEr-aLmiE]

ur sUCh a strOng pErsOn, nOt aLL peoPLe cAn do wAtevEr u hAve dOne...u endUred in aLL the triaLs in ur lyf...evEn thOugh wE are nOt on the sAme beLief as i knOw...jUst stAy cLose 2 God and yOu will expEriEnce the reAL LovE and a hAppy Life thAt is not comparabLe in aNythiNg..ok...ajA....

[Lhai]

u really are a strong person with a great story to share..

something inspirable..

something encouraging..

something that had touched my life..

it was so shocking but it changed my life..

God uses you to encourage other people and to uplift their spirits..

may you continue the journey of life..

with joy in your heart

and

love in your being..

despite and inspite all..

God Bless..

[neil yamato]

your story is very insipiring....

i really admire your strenght kuya, your a true example of courage...

take care and Godbless

['-ChEmOtErA-ii]

aaww!!!soo sad...i salute you for having the guts to share your autobiography...it's a good thing that you survived all those struggles...you're the man kuya...mmmwwwaaahhh!!!

[chii]

kaka-interview ko lang sa kanya kanina (September 8, 2007)...

this man is full of suprises...

mga 2 hours na kami nag-uusap non akala ko narinig ko na lahat ng dapat kong malaman (i even imagine my self typing na his lifestory)...

then all of a sudden he told me that marami pa syang pinagdaanan na medyo hindi karaniwan...

hehehe...nawindang ako sa kanya...

hindi ko first time na makarinig ng story na ganon or ganito...

siguro pagod lang ako sa biyahe...hehehe

usually kasi unang kita ko pa lang sa tao alam ko na ang sasabihin nya but then his story suprised me...unpredictable pala sya...

anyway,thank you po talaga for trusting me...

about you lifetory...

i had a great time listening to your story...

salamat po sa iced tea!...

[mskanne]

thank you for sharing this to us. everytime i am hopeless in battling for my 3 year old nephew i would always remember you. it pains me a lot of what happened but this also made me promise to myself that i should be strong for my little nephew. it scared me at first reading what had happened to you with that german guy. i would not allow that to happen to my little boy. yes i know not germans are like that but i have seen this german guy, who is trying to take away my nephew from me, sadistic acts. i just hope and pray that i would be victorious in this battle. and thank you for giving me the will and courage to fight...

mskanne

[David]

It takes courage and acceptance of what had happened to me in order to write this finally. I had been ready as well as I shared my story this December 8 at 9:00pm on UniversiTV's U-Turn on Channel 33 (Local TV), Channel 5 (Sky/Home) and Channel 98 (Destiny Cable).

With replays on Dec. 11 and Dec. 13 at 7:30pm.... I hope that people will be inspired and will hold on that there is hope and for every battle it is just a mere challenge.